Hello Me, it’s you.
Welp, believe it or not it’s been quite a while since I last contacted you. The last we spoke, I was… just 20? I was just embarking on a Uni project with absolutely no clue of what it held in store for me.
Remember I gave you some advice, after dropping the bombshell that I’d finally been diagnosed with depression and anxiety? I still stand by it. Turns out teeny-bit-younger Han had an alright head on those shoulders. I’m going to use this opportunity to share some more pearls of wisdom and update you on my situation, sound ok?
So, I’m now 21. Nearly 22! I remember that I thought that only ‘grown ups’ went to University and beyond that? Pah! This was after seeing the big sister going to Uni when we were just 9. Right now? I find that hilarious. Want to know the biggest secret I’ve learned recently? Absolutely everyone is blagging it. Seriously, no one has any idea what they’re doing or how to do this ‘adult’ thing that keeps being spoken about. Hopefully that’ll calm some of the panic buzzing around inside you as you have no idea what you’re doing or how to act or even how to just ‘be’. So I’ve finished Uni now and it’s almost been a year since graduation and my 21st birthday. I’ve got an amazing counsellor I’m visiting every other week, and she just gets it. She is a huge help and helped me realise all of this advice I’m about to throw at you.
It’s also been nearly 6 months since my last depressed period and my anxiety is a whole lot more manageable. I still sometimes need to watch a sad film or tv show to release some of the emotion I tend to build up. I also have definitely sobbed in the bath more than once over the last year because I felt totally hopelessly sad, which was terrifying. There’s not much worse than feeling like you’re totally ‘over’ something to find yourself slap bang in the middle of that dark pit, with sunlight looking a long long way off.
But here’s the second thing I want to tell you. Mental health issues (for me at least) are not something you just are ‘over’. It’s going to be something that sticks with you. Now that does sound scary, but it doesn’t have to be. Sure it means you’ll probably always be a little anxious that people don’t like you, that you’re not good at what you do or that occasionally you will have those sobbing-in-the-bath moments. But it won’t be constant. Even in the last 2 years, you’ve been so chest-achingly happy and even better, sustainably content!!! I guess what I’m trying to say is that life will have its ups and downs, the same as anyone else. This mental health thing is not something you can just shake off, but it’s something you need to take care of.
I’ve learned that it’s totally okay to take yourself away from everyone, settle on the sofa and cover your face in a face mask and just chill. You’re allowed your quiet days Han. You don’t need to be that happy bubbly person 24/7. That’s draining and unhealthy, you don’t need to work so hard to keep up that façade. Allow yourself anger, indifference and sadness. It’ll happen no matter how much you bottle it up, but how about you get used to releasing it in healthy bite-sized chunks? You’re only human and you’re entitled to all your feelings negative or positive.
So a final update: we’ve got Hello Me, it’s You registered as a charity (this is totally absurd to me that we’ve made this happen, but so mind-numbingly exciting). I’ve also got a few plans up my sleeve that I won’t reveal now, but trust me there is so much more excitement in store.
It’ll all be okay. Keep pushing through, it’s all going to be worth it.
Love you Han.
Hannah is 21 years old and the founder of Hello Me, it's You. She was diagnosed with depression and anxiety whilst at University and the charity has helped her meet loads of other young people going through mental health issues too. She's realising that she's not so alone in her experiences and wants to help other people realise that as well. She love cocktails, Disney films and YA novels and is always happy to chat to new people.
Hello Me, it's You
Welcome to the Hello Me, it’s You blog! We are launching this blog with weekly content from different contributors, giving their opinions and experiences on all things Mental Health.