Hello Me, it's You…
I am writing to you not to warn you but to help you about what is to come in later life.
I know that are you are young and probably have nothing to worry about, it is probably just you and mum right now, but I will let you into a secret. When you are seven years old you will have your first half sibling. It will be weird but you will then go on to have six more by the time you are 23. Crazy right? One thing I must tell you is that you won’t get to see one of them, but we will talk about that later.
As you know you are from a split family which will further split when your dad and his girlfriend breaks up (mother of 2 of your siblings) and your mum and her boyfriend will split up. It’s tough because you are the only child from your mum and dad, the rest have different parents but you will love them as full siblings and not half. Half means nothing.
You will hit puberty young and lose your voice, as we know you love to sing. You will be tall and start having acne issues which people will bully you for. You will make friends with girls but throughout school you will get called gay all the time, being gay isn’t an issue and I know you are not gay so try and ignore it. Be you. At the age of 13 you will have a breakdown but instead of keeping things to yourself, speak out. When they offer counselling, just do it. Don’t be afraid of what people think. You won’t have many girlfriends throughout school, but this is okay, you are strong as you are. However when you are 17 you will meet someone.
You will meet a girl who you have known for years but you will look at her differently. You will end up spending five years with her, you will buy a house with a mortgage but I am sorry the relationship will destroy you. She will leave you for someone else even though you have done nothing wrong. Even at your lowest point. It will crush you and you will lose all control, you will feel lost and alone, you will be sad. I would say stay away from this girl but from my experience heart ache makes you stronger, you will become stronger after this and ready to face the world.
Just before this happens your one year old sister, Amber, will be diagnosed with brain cancer. It will hurt you. She will have chemotherapy which will not work and then she will go to America for two months which will also not work. She will then have to await different treatment at the age of two. She will be brave and a fighter, she will seem like a normal kid. You will look at her every day and feel pride and sadness. You need to talk to people about how you feel, do not keep it in.
On top of this, in the same year, your mum’s baby will die after her uterus erupts. This will happen just before labour. You will be asked to see the body at the hospital, you must say yes. Its horrible, the baby will look as if she is sleeping and it’s the hardest thing you will ever do but you must see her. Her name will be called Precious. For weeks you will experience anxiety and trauma. Anxiety is something you will have in your teens but you will just brush it off, your parents will say its nothing. The trauma will cause you to have panic attacks at night and at work. I advise you to call the counselling line sooner than what I did as they will help save your life. They will talk things through and help you in every way. Your anxiety will cause you to question everything, it will cause you to panic and you will have trouble leaving the house and even opening doors. You will get through this though with the right support.
The stuff with your girlfriend and sisters will happen in the same year. These experiences will hurt and cause a lot of issues but you must speak out, you must not be ashamed to cry. Anxiety is tough but you will find ways to manage it, you will have it under control. You will find someone that cares about you a lot and wants to be with you. You will realise you are stronger than ever before. When you are ready you will start a twitter profile where you help people, you will then move onto creating videos and then you will blog, before you know it you will be writing a letter to your younger self. You will speak out about mental health, you will spread positivity everywhere and become something big.
Keeping being you, don’t change for anyone. Just remember you are not alone
Josh is a 23 year old mental health blogger who suffers from anxiety. After having a traumatic year he decided to use his experience and knowledge to help others through blogging, tweeting, vlogging and more. He loves films and tea but hates cheese! @UnitedAs1Voice.
Hello Me, it's You
Welcome to the brand new shiny Hello Me, it’s You blog! We are launching this blog with weekly content from different contributors, giving their opinions and experiences on all things Mental Health.